My guides had been suggesting that I clean my office. I needed to remove anything that made me unhappy. I admit that I had been struggling with that.
Letting go of memories is a laborious, time-consuming process. That’s why we let stuff pile-up and we stick stuff in a drawer, a file box, somewhere. I have always prided myself on being able to winnow through belongings. I didn’t think I had much that was extraneous.
I returned recently to several file cabinets of paperwork which held a range of items: cards that family members had sent, notes my elementary school students had given me over the years, letters from a former spouse, and legal documents regarding old issues.
I began going through those files again. I practiced awareness of my gut reactions to things. I was surprised at the number of things that gave me a sense of heaviness. I’d thought I had kept those things because of fond memories. But, I felt sadness when remembering many times in my life, even though the person sending the correspondence had meant to be supportive. I let the things go, grudgingly, but I let them go.
Ha! Then I got to some really painful, painful memories. There were papers I had forgotten about. Were those easier to release? No! I have learned not to be afraid of emotions, so I allowed them to wash over me: ‘I’ve got to keep these – want to prove to others how they were wronged, how I was wronged, how I suffered, how they suffered because of someone’s behavior. Some day I will share these and say: See? See what a horrible person so-and-so was?’ I was amazed at the intensity of emotion that those bits of paper brought back. I hadn’t thought they would cause such a reaction.
After the waves of feeling crashed and receded, I was aware of other thoughts occurring to me. I remembered my past-life regressions. I remembered my soul experiences as the ‘bad person’, the ‘good person’, the confused person. I sat with thoughts like: ‘Why should I tell someone else how they should perceive people in this life? I do not know anything about the past lives Person A has had with Person B. I have had so many personalities. If someone handed me proof of another’s transgressions against me in this life now, how would I react?’
Well, for the most part, I wouldn’t react. I have released so much, re-scripted so much; I would feel compassion for all involved. If not, I’d do another regression. But, what about the person to whom I might give this bad news? They might react with the full weight of all of their life times which I know nothing about. What a mess.
I threw the papers away. It took a day to completely feel release, but I did. I do. The weight is gone. I’m grateful that my guides are caring for me. New Karma is replacing the Old. Katy Redmon