Releasing Heaviness

My guides had been suggesting that I clean my office.  I needed to remove anything that made me unhappy.  I admit that I had been struggling with that.

Letting go of memories is a laborious, time-consuming process.  That’s why we let stuff pile-up and we stick stuff in a drawer, a file box, somewhere.  I have always prided myself on being able to winnow through belongings.  I didn’t think I had much that was extraneous.

I returned recently to several file cabinets of paperwork which held a range of items:  cards that family members had sent, notes my elementary school students had given me over the years, letters from a former spouse, and legal documents regarding old issues.

I began going through those files again.  I practiced awareness of my gut reactions to things.  I was surprised at the number of things that gave me a sense of heaviness.  I’d thought I had kept those things because of fond memories.  But, I felt sadness when remembering many times in my life, even though the person sending the correspondence had meant to be supportive.  I let the things go, grudgingly, but I let them go.

Ha!  Then I got to some really painful, painful memories.  There were papers I had forgotten about.  Were those easier to release?  No!  I have learned not to be afraid of emotions, so I allowed them to wash over me:  ‘I’ve got to keep these – want to prove to others how they were wronged, how I was wronged, how I suffered, how they suffered because of someone’s behavior.  Some day I will share these and say:  See?  See what a horrible person so-and-so was?’   I was amazed at the intensity of emotion that those bits of paper brought back.  I hadn’t thought they would cause such a reaction.

After the waves of feeling crashed and receded, I was aware of other thoughts occurring to me.  I remembered my past-life regressions.  I remembered my soul experiences as the ‘bad person’, the ‘good person’, the confused person.  I sat with thoughts like:  ‘Why should I tell someone else how they should perceive people in this life?  I do not know anything about the past lives Person A has had with Person B.  I have had so many personalities.  If someone handed me proof of another’s transgressions against me in this life now, how would I react?’

  Well, for the most part, I wouldn’t react.  I have released so much, re-scripted so much; I would feel compassion for all involved.  If not, I’d do another regression.  But, what about the person to whom I might give this bad news?   They might react with the full weight of all of their life times which I know nothing about. What a mess.

I threw the papers away.  It took a day to completely feel release, but I did.  I do.  The weight is gone.  I’m grateful that my guides are caring for me.  New Karma is replacing the Old.  Katy Redmon